I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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