Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then he peed in my hair
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