last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
