i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
