I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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