Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
