Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
