Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
