Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
