Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
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There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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