Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
