she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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