i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
