party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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