Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
