we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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