Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
