It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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