I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
