I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sext me about skeletons
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
