In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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