Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
