shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize