I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
