Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
need another drink. this is the easiest way
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
