piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
