the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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