and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize