i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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