...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize