your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize