the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
