I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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