I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize