She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
