TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
