Can i not drive my cunt home
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
