I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
