I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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