Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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