A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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