Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
