I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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