Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize