I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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