Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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