whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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