I threw up into my coffee this morning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
