I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
