There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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