can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
