I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
