Im at strip club and am horny
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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