We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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