I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
