Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
