My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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