so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
