Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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