i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
